Abhaya Bhavan, home of new hope

Today I visited the Abhaya Bhavan retirement home, only that it isn’t really doing justice to that description. It is a home, a facility, for women that have been deserted by their families. When established, the idea was to offer a home for women away from the streets, away from begging. Nowadays there are approximately 40 residents of different age, background and medical condition. Some of the wards are locked, for there are a few with severe mental or physical disabilities, but most of the women live a normal life, doing their part on the daily work. The age of the residents start from 40 and ends up to god only knows where, but the common factor is that all of them have been thrown out of their homes by their own family for various reasons. The home is run by a few nuns and funded by donations. There is a social group in Thiruvalla, that consists of people in different occupations (doctors, accountants, etc). These people donate their time and knowledge to help this society and to keep it running. The TMM is doing it’s part by giving free medical treatment at the premises twice a month. The doctor in charge of this is the forementioned Dr. Nirmala Thomas and she is aided by Srs. Rachel, the nursing students, and the health educators.

Up until now I have had a very childish conception that, as the Indian culture is very family centered, no one would be left behind. Not like this. Many people here are proud to say that it is part of their culture to take care of the parents. Well, every coin has two sides. India doesn’t differ from any other place in the world, the rules can be bend. There was a fairly young woman, compared to the majority of the residents, who was thrown out of her home by her husband after having an affair. Fairly understandable, sence not too many could live in a marriage after such an betrayal. But the reality of such incident is different in India. She was totally alone. Even her already grown-up children don’t want to have anything to do with her. Without any money, possessions or hope, she was taken in to the Abhaya Bhavan, where she gave birth to twins. Unfortunately only one survived, but at least she has been given a second chance on life. There were five children in the premises, 4 of them are related to the occupants. One of them was found as a newly born, from a dumpster in Thiruvalla, and presumed dead. After a while someone noticed some signs of life and he was rushed to the ICU. The first years of his life weren’t easy, because he was struggling repeatedly with pneumonia and other diseases, but now he is healthy as ever, with a voice that would shame many (I was lucky enough to get a song from the kids). All the children are living in a boarding school away from the Abhaya Bhavan, but staying with their mothers during the holidays. These are only two examples of the many destinies in the Abhaya Bhavan. It was a nice and calm place though. The area was kept very clean. They have their own garden of vegetables and flowers, three cows (and I finally got to pet one!!), and very well functioning kitchen and washing area. Dispite of what has happened in the past, the women are working together, and they are doing it very well. But Kerala is among the wealthiest states in India. What is the destiny of all the deserted women and elderly in other states?

All around the world there are people who are capable of turning away in situations, when others would find it out of the question. Luckily we also have those, who are willing to help without any claims. Nevertheless, I will not be the one to abandone my family.

Love you, Mom!:)